Never Enough
by shinigami no baka
Summary: Wufei has once stated that people like him were never made for peacetime. Follow him as he ponders where to take it next.


**A/N:** This is the third edition of the series called Human Nature. After you read this chapter, please proceed to read ¡¥The Most Difficult Thing¡¦ and ¡¥And We Go On¡¦. How does this tie up? Please come back for more updates on the new one-shot fics focused on Heero and Duo. Until then¡K enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this rabid plot bunny. That, and my drunk muse ^^****

**Wufei: Never Enough**

As a child, I have always been demanded of things. My parents demanded me to be their honourable scholar. Meiling demanded that I be a worthy husband. The Doctor demanded that I command Nataku into greatness. Sally Po demands me to loosen up a little...

Demand after demand. When does Wufei Chang starts demanding?

I demand a world that has no need of me. I demand that Duo will just shut up for once. I demand... I demand...

I don't know what to demand anymore.

I remember distinctively a list I had made in the cockpit of Nataku that if I survived the Endless Waltz, I would fulfil these demands. I don't remember much of it now... what happened to it, I wonder?

Strange, I've always had such a clear memory. Where did it go?

I don't believe it would matter much. The demands I make seem to be impossible. Make Duo shut up? The cow will fly over the moon first. A nursery rhyme...

And the knife ran away with the spoon.

I never did like nursery rhymes. They made no logic sense. Quatre argues that they're all for a child's amusement, weren't you ever a child?

Childhood was never part of me. Laugh and play? Never.

I bet it's strange that a grown man in a Preventer's uniform will be climbing up a slide and going down.

Or playing on the swings.

I sing, swing by the moon and kiss the lemon tree.

And the night sings back.

All in my voice.

I had the aspirations to be a singer once. I bet none of you ever knew that I had a rather acceptable singing voice. Well, I do. Right until my father gave me a blow across my face and told me that I will never amount to anything if I became a singer.

My face was stiff for days after that.

I was five.

It wasn't fair, I suppose, looking back on how my parents treated me as I idly sat on the wooden swing. I was always at my books or I was always at the dojo. I opposed marrying Meiling, but a part of me cheered because it meant I would be truly a grown man and will be able to make my own damn decisions.

Unfortunately, Meiling was like my parents, all wrapped up in one. Lucky me.

I suppose I would have grown to tolerate her, but that woman, no, that slip of a girl had to use the Gundam and try to fight. I alternated between hating her for doing what I couldn't do, and loving her for having the courage to do it.

Yes, I felt affection for Meiling for the very first time when she died. I wasn't much of a husband, was I?

And the good Doctor, he trained me...

Trained me to be Nataku.

I am Nataku, aren't I?

All the exercises, all the lectures, the beatings, the drugs...

I remember the drugs.

Needles poked every inch of my skin¡K it hurt so much.

Pain-resistance.

Every single one of them demanded something from me.

I have nothing to give anymore.

I am a honourable man. I will do what is to be expected of me. 

My parents demanded that I leave my childhood and become a man. Become a scholar.

I have accomplished that.

Meiling demanded that I be a worthy husband.

I... have not accomplished that. I'll never be worthy of her. Do you now understand why? Demand after demand, it's just never enough.

The Doctor demanded that I would command my mecha to usher in a new era.

I have accomplished that. We have peace... but I do not belong here.

Sally Po demands me to loosen up.

I am sorry that I cannot answer that demand. It has been drilled into me since I could remember. I will never let that piece of me go. It's all I have left.

What is demanded of me now, is to be a Preventer. I need to be a good Preventer. I have my duties, and you had yours.

But I too, have a demand.

Will anyone care to listen?

Step closer. No... closer.

_I have a wish... to be alone... I don't want to hear that voice EVER in my head again._

Next time I see you, Nataku will have revenge. And I? I will shoot you.

OWARI


End file.
